Especially on a cold, dark, windy night...

"DO YOU HAVE A FLASHLIGHT?!?!? MY SCORPIAN ESCAPED!!!!!!"

I think I have the permanent heebee jeebeez!

my tickies last night...


moar funny pictures

So I've always thought my laptop was a little hot... and couldn't remember the fans ever coming on...

So I'm online looking for a keyboard for it (to replace the one I gunked up by spilling a glass of wine on it - oops!), and I run across some little rant about a guy who was trying to fix a laptop (my same model, but a little older) and how it ran too hot and the fans never came on and how Dell customer no-service didn't care and said it was normal, blah, blah, blah... at the bottom of the article was a link to a site that has a download for a program that you can run that will control your CPU temp and run the fans FOR you! I downloaded the little gem and POW! My laptop fans are running for the first time I can ever remember! My CPU temp just went from 52 degrees Celcius to 40 degrees just in the time it took to type this! (it's in Celcius because the programmer is from Germany).

What each individual person can do each day to leave the planet in better condition than they found it. People need to know that, Yes, in fact EVERYTHING they do has an impact. That can be a positive or a negative thing, but yes, it WILL matter if you recycle that can or throw away that cardboard box. It WILL matter if you donate that item to charity rather than it ending up in a landfill. It matters a lot. It astounds me just how much we throw away. And by we, I'm even talking about my tiny household. I used to throw out TONS of stuff. Literally. And now, by the simple fact that my office got recycle bins and I have another option, I can see just how much difference it makes. When you flatten the cardboard cereal box and put it in the recycle bag, when you can save the platic blister pack from the electronics store, when you haul the dead batteries into the recycling center you see just HOW MUCH STUFF you used to throw away. Now, practically the only thing that gets tossed is the food waste and cat litter, and when we get a place of our own we might be able to compost and wont have to throw out anything! Just one tiny household of 2. Doing our part.

That's what I tell myself, as I walk the 30 yards to the laundry room in my bright pink, Killer whale pajamas.

The truth is, I do. I am painfully aware that 90% of people who look at me at any given moment don't approve of something I'm wearing. It's not usually the pajamas though. Usually it's the pink stripes in my hair, or the 18 tattoos. Sometimes it's the t-shirt with the irreverent saying on it. But there's always something that I get nasty looks about. And it's hard. I give off the impression that I don't care, but the truth is, I do. The looks still hurt.

What i find particularly creepy is the number of people who are sitting at home with their front doors open at noon on a Thursday to stare at me walking to the laundry room. DOESN'T ANYBODY WORK IN THIS PLACE?????? I'm only here because I'm working from home (and when I'm not dicking around on myspace, I'm actually working) unlike everyone else who went into the office this morning who now have the rest of the day off because of a chemical spill across the street from the building.

I'm so self conscious that I might actually put on pants to go put the laundry in the dryer....

ganked from markbt73

1. When someone sneezes, I do whatever I can NOT to say "bless you" - and I usually end up with "are you ok?" If I sneeze, whether someone says it to me or not, I say "excuse me".

2. I have a bumper sticker I ordered that says "Religion Ruled the Dark Ages" but if you look closely, it says "When Religion Ruled the World They Called it the Dark Ages" but I've been too chicken to put it on my truck because religious freaks are mean, horrible people whom I'm afraid would do something bad to my truck.

3. I hate littering and people who litter, but if there's some bible crap on my windshield when I come back to my truck in a parking lot I will crumple it up and throw it on the ground. I always hope the people who put it there are watching.

4. When I hear someone say "god bless you" my nose wrinkles up like I just smelled poo. I feel offended if they are talking to me, and if they're not, I feel sorry for the other person - like god had anything to do with whatever they just did. If they did something nice then THEY should get the credit for it, not some made up character.

5. I went to a poetry reading last week and one of the poems had a lot of god stuff in it. I tuned out. I couldn't pay attention to anything else they said.

6. Sometimes I wish I believed in god. It would make things so much easier just to be stupid like everyone else. It's like being the only ones out of the Matrix. It's lonely and scary and nobody understands that it HAS to be this way.

7. When my boss starts talking about how I ought to pray, my eyes glaze over and I dream about throttling her.

8. I like religious jewelry. I like cross necklaces. I just wish they didn't have to mean anything.

9. I respect people of other religions more than Christians (except Islam). For some reason it's less stupid to me for people to be Jewish or Buddhist.

10. I'm on my second atheist husband. I think that we must attract one another. Or at least, we are so disgusted by the thought of a religious mate that it happens by default.

I was trying to decide which news item to blog about (since there are just SOOO many riling my irk right now) but when I came across this irresponsible bitch I just couldn't hold back any longer.

Yeah, I could have written about what a capital A asshole this guy is, endangering all those people with his selfish, denial and lame-ass excuses (no, I wouldn't want to miss my wedding and honeymoon either, but I didn't go and get myself infected with TB, now did I?). I could have expressed my disgust with this stupid cow and anyone like her who endangers everyone else because they think their cellphone conversation is more important than the lives of everyone else on the road. Or I could have commented on the unfairness of this little gem that shows how celebrities and/or politicians are above the law.

But no. I am currently most troubled by the unemployed, unmarried, 20-year old mother of 7. Yes, that's SEVEN fucking brats under the age of 5. WHY ISN'T THIS BITCH STERILIZED ALREADY????? I knew there was no way anyone would ever get me to Texas on purpose, but this has absolutely confirmed it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE? WHY AM I PAYING THESE MOUTH BREATHING, UNEDUCATED, RABBITS TO EXIST????

That's it. We're moving to Canada. Where, apparently, there are Cuban cigars.

I don't want to get shot if I go off key. Read story here.

Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian


10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.



could I hate them any more????? uh, no.

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
heating up my lunch

2. Who are you in love with?
Mark

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
no, I was a paste gal.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
a Planned Parenthood "Stand up For Choice" sticker

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
don't remember...

7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000?
yep, it's for sale, want it?

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Irwindale's not really out of town, is it? Thanksgiving we went to Vegas....

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
Yep. Saw Pirates 3 on Friday night.

10. Are you hot?
My husband thinks so. ;)
Oh, you mean temperature? Yeah, it's a little warm in here.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
diet Hawaiian punch

12. What are you wearing right now?
green v-neck with 3/4 sleeve denim over it

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
it's much better when someone else washes it, and by the time you add up the quarters for the do-it-yourself kind, you're better off anyway

14. Last food that you ate?
chicken, carrots and potato salad (left overs from dinner Sunday night) yumm!

15. Where were you last week at this time?
same place I am now.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
hmmm.... yeah.... I got a shirt at Target Friday while I was waiting for my eyes to undialate (I'd just been to the eye doctor)

17. When is the last time you ran?
when was the last time I was chased? just kidding.... I was trying to run home from the gym in late March/early April but the flowers had just started blooming and it KILLED my sinuses

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
on purpose? never.
because I couldn't escape it? errr.... it has been SEVERAL years. I think the Lakers won... something... because some guy.... made a something-or-other long shot thingy.... and then all these bumper stickers came out saying 3-peat? Whatever that means. I was at Danny and Jessie's house and they had food. :)

19. What is your favorite animal?
bear... little black ones.... or white ones... or the brown ones are cute too :)

20. Your dream vacation?
secluded bungalow over the warm, shallow, clear waters in Tahiti

21. Last person's house you were in?
Cindy & Mark Ross, for dinner on Sunday.

22. How old are your parents?
Mom is 60.

23. Have you been in love?
Yep. Still am. :)

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
yep

25. Last play you saw?
hmmm..... don't remember the name of it. Some local theatre production that my friend was in.

27.What are your plans for tonight?
Body Blast with Lacy, speed eating, shower, tv (or book reading) then bed.

28. Who is the last person you sent a myspace message or comment to?
I put a Happy Birthday one for Joey a couple weeks ago

29. What is the next trip you are going to take?
Oregon, at the end of June.

30. Ever go to camp?
yeah. I still find it amazing that I learned archery and riflery at bible camp

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
only one semester

32. What do you want to know about the future?
will they save the polar bears?

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Nope.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
I can't seem to STOP visiting doctors this year.

35. Where is your best friend(s)?
right now? in Long Beach.

36. Who is your best friend(s)?
my hubby :)

37. Do you have a tan?
my arms are darker than I'd like, but sometimes I forget to put on the SPF50.
My tats show off better the paler I am.

38. What are you listening to right now?
the Shins new album.

39. Do you collect anything?
sand and shells from exotic places I visit, wine glasses from wineries to which I've been for tastings, and necklaces from exotic places I've been.

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
me? hehe, just kidding....

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
sometime in '92 I think....

42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Of course.

43. What does your last text message say?
"Good luck at the doctor, I love you :)" (you can guess who that's from)

44. Do you like hot sauce?
no

45. Last time you took a shower?
last night

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Nope. I did it all yesterday.

47. What is your heritage?
Scottish, Swedish and... ahem.... Polish

48. Are you someone's best friend?
yep :)

49. Are you rich?
not in the slightest

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
he's the sweetest guy in the whole world and he's mine, all mine, nya, nya, ni nya, na!

Instituted after the death of one of my favorite authors, Douglas Adams, Towel Day is a tribute to the great man, and one of his great ideas.

To quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

The explanation as to WHY they picked May 25th is a little fuzzy, but it's cited by all these websites:

http://www.towelday.kojv.net/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Towel_Day
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A557093
http://www.douglasadams.com/cgi-bin/mboard/info/thread.cgi?9515,0
http://www.videolicio.us/2006/05/douglas_adams_t.html

and MANY others....

though the H2G2 site says it's the last Friday in May, so not necessarily the 25th, but it is this year (as it was in 2001).

Before I start flinging around words like "moron" and "deluded maniac" I'd like to point out that Ken Ham has spent a whole lot of money on something he himself claims "isn't the point". In this article he wrote for some uber-bible thumping publication, he says:

Believing in a relatively ‘young Earth’ (i.e., only a few thousands of years old, which we accept) is a consequence of accepting the authority of the Word of God as an infallible revelation from our omniscient Creator.

Um, ok. So, you really DON'T believe it? Or you think so highly of the dubious origins of that book of yours that you can't POSSIBLY think for yourself or believe ANY of the COUNTLESS pieces of evidence against it? That's about the weakest argument I've ever heard. So you built a whole museum based on a LITERAL interpretation of the bible? I've only got one question. Do you believe EVERYTHING it says? Oh yeah? Really?

What about all of these questions?

No answer, huh?

I didn't think so.

surprised?

Link: The Alignment Test written by xan81 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

One of life's bigger necessary evils, I continue to be ASTOUNDED by how many of my friends are living without it: health insurance, car insurance, life, renters - there are as many different kinds of insurance as insurance salesmen there are to sell it to us. Hell, half the people in the company I work for are dealing with insurance in one way or another (selling, billing for it, paying claims, denying claims, whatever). I have had health insurance all my life (I think my mother's covered me until I was out of college and then I got an office job that came with it). I've had auto insurance since before my mother let me behind the wheel of my own first car. I've had renters insurance ever since I lived in an apartment that was half underground and flooded, destroying my bed (that was about 1994). And yet, I have friends who are going through their adult lives without a net. Why do you do this to yourselves?

One argument is that they can't "afford" it. Lets look at auto insurance for a sec.... yeah, it's a nasty industry, people will rip you off if you let them, but consider for a moment that it's the LAW in California to have it. Now imagine that one little thing goes wrong, and some asshole runs a light or stop sign and plows into your car. He's at fault, right? Well.... if you don't have insurance, then it's suddenly YOUR fault. I'm serious. It happened to friends of mine. Because, by the trickery of lawyer-speak, an un-insured car should not be on the road in the first place, therefore you just BEING there caused the accident. Yep. And since the asshole with the dented Mercedes or whatever can afford a lawyer, chances are he'll not only be found not at fault, but my friends will end up having to pay HIM. Fair? No. But having insurance IS the law.

Health insurance, do you really need it? Oh, I don't know, do you HAVE a body? Do you know how to fix it yourself? Never went to Med school? Hmmmm..... then, yeah, you probably need it. I know we can all get over colds and know how to use a band-aid, but what if something just, you know, happened? My mom was hanging a shower curtain one day and fell off the toilet and broke her foot into tiny pieces. She had to have a metal rod put in to support her foot. It got better, but if she hadn't had insurance, it might have wiped her out. She could have LOST HER HOUSE. I have creditors sending me letters every month just to collect a COPAY for my surgery two years ago THAT I ALREADY PAID! Can you imagine how they would be after me if I hadn't paid it? I honestly can't explain why they are hounding me for something I already paid, but they must have crappy records at the Tarzana Hospital, but they are at least nice on the phone when I call to explain that I'm still looking for a record to fax them that it was paid already.

Now, onto the slightly more frivolous kinds of insurance.... there's renter's (or home-owner's which you get if you can actually afford to own your home). Every one has "stuff".... the question is, would you be devastated if all your stuff got ruined or stolen? Is there stuff you would HAVE to replace? Stuff that you can't afford to replace? Some people have nice computers, I have cameras and dive gear. No way in HELL I'd ever be able to buy them again. So I have them insured. It's not alot of money - mine's less than $30/month - but without it, I might be afraid to even take my stuff out of the house and use it. And what good would it do me then?

Life insurance.... well, it will never benefit YOU, but do you have someone you care about? Someone who would be destroyed if something fatal happened to you? Someone who would end up living on the street without your combined income? That's when you start thinking life insurance might be worth it.

Travel insurance.... this one is more for those who can afford to travel, OR for that onece-in-a-lifetime trip that you've saved up for all those years, and suddenly fall deathly ill and can't go. If you got trip insurance, you wouldn't lose all the money you spent on the trip. Simple as that. If you can't really afford to take a trip but you decide to anyway, you might want to go the extra step and insure it.

Pet insurance.... I've heard they have this thing where you can buy the equivalent to health insurance for your pets.... if you have a lot invested (financially or emotionally) in your pets, it might be worth it. One of the reasons that I don't have my dog living with me is that my ex can better afford good vet care for her - dogs can be expensive. Cats, not so much, but as they get older, things do go wrong, and if they go catastrophically wrong (pun intended), the bill can be more than the little fur-ball is worth to anyone. More pets are euthanized because the owners couldn't afford vet bills than any other reason. Vets says "it will be $6,000 to save Fluffy's life" and owner says "how much to put him down?" It can sound mean, but it's life (or not, as it were). But if you had pet health insurance you might not have to make that choice.

Anyway, I'm off my soap-box. I'm just saying, people. There is NO SUCH THING as "it wont happen to me"..... because it ALWAYS does.

My little sis finished her PhD!!!!!!! Woohoo!!!!!

You may now address her as Dr. Sassyboo. Ok, maybe not, but I can!

did you hear about the girl who was at both Columbine AND VT?

She's going to start to get a complex...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18173672/?duck=true

So I've been (slowly) selling a bunch of my stuff lately... not terribly actively, but I sold the only two books I own that were worth much, and yesterday I sold two seasons of Buffy on DVD.... I'm not sure if I'm trying to get rid of my stuff so I can take off, become that backpacker I always wanted to try, or if I just have gotten sick of living somewhere with every single frickin horizontal surface has something on it, but I feel good with every sale....

So if there was ever anything you saw that I have that you want.... make an offer. Chances are I'll sell it to ya.

Books, DVDs, CDs, clothes, keyboard, NAUI instructor manuals, candlesticks, wine glasses, anything....

We like pirates.